5 Tips You Need To Understand Mental Health

written by Tia Heggie

Over 2 years ago my doctor told me I have anxiety and depression. That’s not easy to hear. I honestly didn’t know much about it and I was scared. At the time no one I knew struggled with this. However, when I started to speak out about it, I realized almost everyone I knew struggled with their mental health. Mental health is something I believe we should all educate ourselves more on.  That way we can better take care of ourselves and others.

I’ve talked with multiple therapists, read books on mental health, and started following a number of mental health pages on Instagram. I finally feel like I’m beginning to understand mental health.

Key #1: It’s Okay To Not Be Okay

As soon as I was diagnosed with my mental illnesses I was heading off to the east side of Canada. Somewhere I’d never been, and a completely different country than my family. I was going there to serve a mission for the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I would be there for 18 months. I was scared.

For the first couple of months in Canada I came to realize this 1st key. That it’s 100% completely okay to not be okay. A lot of people don’t get that.

Take social media for example. Everyone shows their best self. No one sees the tears, trials and heartache that lies behind those photos.

Once I realized that I didn’t have to act like I had it all together I felt free. Once I let my emotions show to others, especially on social media, I started to understand myself more and what I was feeling.

Since realizing that it’s okay to not be okay all the time, I’ve felt a stronger connection to myself and have given myself more grace. This is so important for all of us to do.

Key #2: Don’t Be Ashamed To Get The Help You Need

At times, those of us who deal with any sort of mental illness are ashamed of what we’re going through. We don’t want other people to see our weaknesses. It’s like we put on a mask in public only to rip it off when we get home and feel all of the emotions.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I needed help with what I was going through. I didn’t know anything about depression or anxiety. I didn’t know why I was feeling like I couldn’t breath when I woke up, and why on the sunniest and happiest days I felt like I got hit by a truck. I did not understand. It was around 7 months after I was diagnosed that I started to see a therapist. To say that she changed my life is an understatement. I  would not be where I am today, doing as well as I am, without talking to a therapist and getting the help I needed. She was able to teach me so much more about what I was going through, and it was amazing! She would describe exactly how I was feeling and give me tips and tricks to help me cope with it better. She changed my entire perspective on mental health.

Fast forward two years later while I was in college. I was set up with a therapist at the school and she just didn’t fit my needs. She was a great person and therapist, but not for me. I think it’s important to understand that you may not find the right therapist for you on the first try. Sometimes you will struggle to find a connection. That is okay! Do not give up.

Key #3: Educate Yourself

This next key has become extremely important to me. Over the past few years I have come across coaches, friends and even family members who don’t understand the severity of mental health. I’ve been told that it seems like I’m faking my mental illnesses and that I just need to “suck it up”. When things like this happen, it doesn’t make me upset or angry – it makes me sad! Chances are extremely high that there is someone close to you who is struggling with their mental health. It could be your wife, father, child, student or co-worker.  Imagine how they would feel to hear you say “suck it up” or “snap out of it”. Mental health is just as important as physical health. You would never say these things to someone who just got diagnosed with cancer or diabetes.

So what do you need to do? Educate yourself. There are so many resources to help you do this. It can even be as simple as following mental health accounts on instagram! There are hundreds of articles and books about depression, anxiety, bipolarism, eating disorders, etc. I love listening to different podcasts about mental health as well! However you choose to educate yourself, please just do it.

Key #4: Be Aware Of Others

You never know what people are going through. This is why I believe kindness is one of the number one attributes we as humans need to develop.

Actress and singer-songwriter India de Beaufort said, “Awareness of others is a beautiful thing. Learning how to support and encourage, and stopping long enough to pay attention to someone other than yourself, is a truly beautiful quality”

When we look outside of ourselves and pay closer attention to those around us, we can begin to be more aware and sensitive to their feelings. This is the only way to know if someone you care about is going through a trial.

Through my experience, I’ve noticed that the more vulnerable I am, and the more open I can be, the more comfortable people are to talk to me. I try so hard to be approachable so that if someone is struggling and needs to talk, they know they can come to me! Whether it’s in person, over the phone, or through social media, I love talking to others about mental health and seeing how we can help each other!

Something that has really helped me is when my parents and fiance take the time to ask me how I’m doing. It’s so simple, but helps me know they are open for me to talk to them. Usually they can tell when something is “off” and will ask if they can help in any way. I’ll be honest, a lot of the time there’s not much anyone can do for me, but just knowing they are there to support and comfort me is everything I need.

If you’ve read up to this point you probably have someone in mind that may be struggling. Maybe it’s you and you need to take some self care time. All I ask is that you reach out to whoever is on your mind. A lot of times if we are struggling we hesitate to talk about it because of the fear of being judged. So when someone reaches out to us instead, it means the world! I will tell you this though, you may reach out to someone who you think is struggling and they say they are completely fine. That may be true, but in most cases they’re simply not ready to talk. However, the simple fact that they know you are there if they need anything is vital. You may be the guardian angel they are looking for.

Key #5: End The Stigma

Every key we have talked about is extremely important, but this might be the most important.. There are a lot of different stigmas in the world, but the stigma surrounding mental health is extremely harmful. This stigma involves so many negative and discriminatory attitudes about mental illness and those who struggle with it. I once was guilty of this. I didn’t understand how serious mental health was, and honestly thought people were faking it at times. I am ashamed that I used to think this, but it helps me understand why others would feel this way. It wasn’t until I experienced it myself that I truly understood how real mental illness is.

I am very passionate about helping to end the stigma surrounding mental health. When I came home from college I felt a strong desire that I needed to do something to raise awareness. I did a fundraiser where I raised over $700 to put towards the Kevin Love Fund, but that wasn’t enough. I recently created my own website (https://bit.ly/EndTheStigmas) where I am selling stickers to raise awareness about mental health! A portion of the proceeds go to the Kevin Love Fund. I’m excited to start this journey of helping others with their mental health, raising awareness and ending the stigma. To follow my journey you can follow me @tiaheggie on Instagram.